Not Feel Good Day

Today was a not feel good day...at least most of it. There were some really good parts like getting a great haircut and watching a friend open her mission call. Those parts of the day were great. However, the rest was not so good. I need to feel better about work, or at least about the idea new work prospects. I really want to move on from where I am, so it's time to really start looking again. I need to feel better about certain aspects of my life and find out what I should be doing right now. This wondering thing is really wearing on me. I need to feel better physically...My back and neck are almost always in pain, my stomach is not very happy with me right now, and I'm just exhausted. Maybe that's the real reason for the not feel good day. Maybe I just need to sleep.

Mind Filters

I realized today just how much my mind filters what or who I blog about. Ideally, the reason I have a blog is to write whatever I want to, but that's not exactly how it works...I filter according to who I know reads it. For that reason, maybe it's better to not know. ;) (...But at the same time, it's fun to know people actually know it's here and do take the time to read it.)

Late Nights

I haven't gone to bed before 1:00 AM once this week. I've been exhausted all week, but I still can't bring myself to actually go to sleep at a decent hour. Tonight tops them all...playing games until 2:30 and then feeling the need to eat ice cream. What a life to lead. I really need to improve next week. Maybe I should work on at least being in bed by 1:00...if not 12:00. I don't know if it will happen, but at least I can think about it and maybe shoot for something. :)

Communication

I realized tonight exactly how important communication is. Earlier today, I was extremely down and pretty upset about some things. There was a certain person that I was really frustrated with and I finally just decided that I needed to figure out what was going on. I asked if we could talk and we did. We walked around for more than an hour, talking about this particular problem.

As much as I fear communication and tend to avoid it, it really is a great thing...probably something that should happen more often, because when we avoid talking things out, it never ends up good. Thank you, certain person, for being awesome and talking to me tonight. It made things so much better. Tonight, as I go to bed, I am happier than I have been in over a week, and it feels awesome!

Stars and Thunderstorms

I have a new fascination with the stars. This last week was full of opportunities to look up in the sky and enjoy the beauty and amazement that is there. Last Friday night I was up in Idaho with some friends and we went up the hill away from the city. The stars were so bright and we could see the Milky Way so well. It was incredible. Saturday followed with games of looking for satellites and shooting stars. On Sunday, we went to the Idaho Falls Temple Visitors' Center. They currently have a display of photos from the Hubble Telescope. I don't really know how to explain the pictures, but they were absolutely incredible. It truly amazes me what really is out in space. There were pictures of awesome stars, galaxies, and other things. There was this one of the V838 Monocerotis star...
It's only about 20,000 light years away.

The other picture that absolutely amazed me was this one of the Sombrero Galaxy...
It's somewhere around 30 million light years away and about 50,000 light years across. I can't even begin to fathom how big the universe really is and everything that is out there. It is incredible.

After the amazingness of the pictures, I was able to spend Monday and Tuesday nights camping away from city lights. Once again, there were so many stars and they were so bright. I loved it!

Back in Provo, the stars aren't nearly as exciting. It's pretty disappointing. But, to make up for it, we had an awesome thunderstorm a few hours ago.A group of us went up to Y mountain and just watched the lightening and some of us stood out in the rain. There are just times that I am so grateful for nature and the blessing we have to really enjoy it. Plus, I won't lie...the company has been pretty great too. :)

Clean Checks

Please make note of the time...I hate cleaning checks. I have only come up with one good thing about clean checks, and that is that they make me clean my room. It has been in desperate need for a long time, and tonight I finally did it! So, for that I'm okay with clean checks, but unfortunately, it's not enough to make me love them.

Alone Time

Tonight I needed some alone time. I didn't want to go anywhere, so it had to be at home. Then I didn't want to be in my room because it's a mess. The front room isn't much of a place to be alone. So, I retreated to the balcony...a place that no one usually goes. Plus it's a nice night so I got to enjoy the beautiful weather and think a little bit.